Abandonment Issues

“Dear Human,

You’ve got it all wrong. You didn’t come here to master unconditional love. That is where you came from and where you’ll return. You came here to learn personal love. Universal love. Messy love. Sweaty love. Crazy love. Broken love. Whole love. Infused with divinity. Lived through the grace of stumbling. Demonstrated through the beauty……of messing up. Often. You didn’t come here to be perfect. You already are. You came here to be gorgeously human. Flawed and fabulous. And then to rise again into remembering. But unconditional love? Stop telling that story. LOVE, in truth, doesn’t need any other adjectives. It doesn’t require modifiers. It doesn’t require the condition of perfection. It only asks that you show up. And do your best. That you stay present and feel fully. That you shine and fly and laugh and cry and hurt and heal and fall and get back up and work and play and live and die as YOU. It’s enough. It’s plenty.”

Courtney A. Walsh.

I don’t know if you have noticed, but I have severe abandonment issues.

In all my stories, that’s what happens to me. And being left behind always makes you evaluate what it could be about you that deems worthy of leaving.

I have tried over and over to fix me. To polish my good characteristics and push down or change the bad. I have slowly made myself new. From that new I have learned the value of a person and what kindness looks like. I believe that within me is someone worth keeping. And I think that all lies in just being all of me. To everybody.

I haven’t seen a moment where I am not being left behind yet, but perhaps this happens to continue to teach me.