You is Kind. You is Smart. You is Important.
Originally posted June 2nd, 2016
I'm sitting on a park bench watching my girls play. A friend joined them not too long ago. She's Lilia's age. Older. Seems confident. I see Harper sitting underneath the playground. Alone. Pouty. Lilia found a new friend. One better than her little sister.
This is life. It's racked with injustice. And the fight for fairness, justice, and truth is at times far more difficult than its worth, honestly.
What am I gonna teach my kids?
Dear Lilia & Harper,
Girls. Life is hard and sometimes it sucks so hard.
If I could breathe these things into you, stamp them onto your heart and make you wear then daily, I would. But instead I will embody them. I'll live them. And I hope you reap some of them.
Love through the injustice because life isn't fair.
Don't feel entitled to fairness. Fairness is a joke the world tells you to play into when you're a kid. But the reality is this: there is no such thing as a fair game.
But there is love and love is no joke.
Love tells others that you don't need fair.
Actually it tells them that you don't need anyone. You're confident in you and that allows you to love unconditionally.
So love every one. All the time. No matter what.
Fight to be loyal, but also ask for loyalty in return.
Fight for people even when you are slightly confused as to why you should. Do it anyways. Sometimes the best of people won't show themselves from the start, but someone once told me, "You'll find your real friends at the bottom." And once those people show their faces and pick your flattened body off the surface of a traffic packed highway full of people who would rather run you over than help you up, never let them go.
Be kind in every transaction.
I know that sometimes you'll feel like knocking in people's doors with your feet and yelling at them about how awful they are and feel the urge to slap the shit out of them, but don't. Instead, blow their minds with kindness.
Have mercy on people. Be a freaking Cinderella to all the mean people in your world. She became a freaking princess. Enough said.
Be honest, but tell people to respect your privacy.
Your life is no one's business. It's not even my business to know all of your things and I birthed you.
And about respect.
You have to earn it in this life and that's pretty fucked up. So don't be that way.
Give every one respect.
Respect them even if they have lost your trust.
Even if you don't agree with them.
And even if they are vastly different than you. Just be respectful.
Compassion is life breathing.
Empathize with how someone else feels. It makes the selfish pity go away and makes you understand the why's. Have compassion for your enemies. It'll make life lighter, easier, and well, less selfish. And it'll make you make selfless choices while handling things. You'll do less "why me" crying and you'll hear more "I understands" come out of your mouth. People are messy, there's no doubting that. People are worth it, though.
Forgive. Right away.
Even without knowing all the details. Even if they unfriend you from Facebook (or whatever new social thing that is out there). Just forgive people. Don't hold grudges. It'll suck the life out of you and you'll regret it one day. You always do. So forgive.
No matter what, be yourself.
Be the you that you love.
Stop looking for happiness in others or in things and learn to love being you and doing you.
Stop listening to what people need you to be or expect of you.
Never hide yourself out of fear.
Never let anyone tell you that you are disqualified or that you just aren't good enough.
You are good enough. You are so good enough. It is unbelievable how good enough you are. Kick those people to the curb and move on with your bad self.
Fight for what you want.
And don't play into your inner demons talking down your self esteem. Duck tape that sucka's mouth and whisper affirmations to yourself.
Because you're a confident, beautiful and intelligent woman and you are worth the world.
I could go on and on, but I think I've covered my most important bases.
Girls. Stop listening to the garbage and never let anyone crush your spirit. And KNOW YOUR HEART.
Love,
The mother who will run over people's bodies with my car if they talk crap about my babies.
“You is kind. You is smart. You is important.”